(AS OF APRIL 25, I’M ADDING PICS AND MORE GENERAL INFORMATION TO THE THREAD)
I wanted to come out about this for about five months now. I never got to it though, since I didn’t feel as if I could. It never felt like there was a right time, plus there was people who’d say that he was just joking around when he did the things he did. I’m now coming out about my experiences because I can’t keep it all to myself any longer.
Some of you are aware that Rexu and I don’t like each other because something happened between us, but the majority of you have no idea what happened. Basically, I have been gaslighted by him numerous times for around a month and a half. Things weren’t too bad when we first started talking. I talked about Dismiss Yourself and scam rap, and he told me to rap for him so he could make a beat. All was good.
While our DMs were fresh and new, there’d be an occasional NSFW comment or two, which I didn’t really care about. In retrospect, I probably should’ve recognized this as a warning, but more on that later.
Anyways, I started to develop a crush on him briefly. I had seen his face one time and I thought that he was fairly attractive. Ever since then, dms took a weird turn. We started giving each other more attention and then we just kind of started to have a “thing” together.
It went from 0-100 really quick from that point. DMs became something that was grotesquely sexual. It started out with sexting (no pics or vids involved) but then he’d push the idea of a video call where I showed my stuff to him. Admittedly, I should’ve said no. I did express that I wasn’t all that comfortable with the idea of camming, due to it wasn’t a no.
Me not being able to say no became something of a common theme as well, not just when it came to sexual things but when it came to the constant bickering we’d do. These arguments weren’t just in DMs, but they were in both DY Discord and my own private server. A majority of the arguments were over nothing. He’d take things and blow them out of proportion, switching it up as well so I was the one who ended up apologizing most of the time. He’d usually say how I was a “hypocrite” or how “it was just a joke,” invalidating my feelings and making me feel dumb. Now that I’m out of that situation, I’ve came to realize that I was being gaslighted. I felt even worse about the situation when I realized that I found myself acting sexually or in a dumber way in order to keep cool with him.
The main reason why I’m in the situation that I’m in now was that he’d also led me on, making me believe that we were edating (which I admit I’m partially to blame. Aforementioned, I had feelings for him), only to go and say that we were never a thing and that the whole idea of it was stupid. I was hurt, but I kept this in mind. He’d talk about things he did with other women in the past, which kinda made me jealous. I still kept in mind that he literally said that we weren’t actually a thing, so I just went on. I talked about something that happened once. It wasn’t full on sex or anything, it was just a crazy encounter that happened to me. The man goes full on ballistic on me and blocks me.
TL;DR: I was gaslighted. That’s not even all I have to say on the matter, though.