The Neverending Story!

[Sticki]

The story will start below with a setup prompt, and everyone should add onto the story one or two sentences at a time. Dont write a novel! And if someone very blatantly ruins the story or is jokeposting, feel free to skip them and quote the post where the story last left off. I'll start it below:

A loser, who was obsessed with anime, moved to Japan. A self-described NEET, he quickly learnt that the country was just like any other and nobody wanted to be friends with him. He was making his weekly 8pm trip to the convenience store for microwavable food and manga when on his way out a large portal opened up in the sky...

[spirit!]

the big smelly loser looks up in awe as he is experiencing a once in a lifetime event. "finally!" he said "this is like one of my one punch man manga's coming true!" he said to himself out loud.

[Peanut66]

Then

[Timothy]

Then he kills himself

[Sticki]

You say out loud "Well that was weird" and decide to keep on moving. Let sleeping dogs lie, as they say. You make it home and sit down on your futon. Your studio apartment doesn't have space for both a bed and a couch, so your sleeping space doubles as your living room and your dining room. You turn on the TV and read the news headline...

[boner]

"European Shooters Are In Your Area" reads the headline. You are very concerned for your life, and quickly run to get your...

[Sticki]

knife, which you keep in the nightstand next to your wife, who begs you to be careful not to lose your life, as you rush out the front door and into the night...

[binky]

Then you remember you don't have a wife because you're a loser, you didn't know how to use a knife because you're a coward, and it's not even nighttime, it's 6am and the sun is peaking over the horizon. All that being the case, you hear not so distant gunshots down the street and someone yelling "Hey!"

[pee]

You turn around, its your long lost pal "JGerfil". He's named that because he couldnt spell when you were friends on the playground and you all loved the comic garfield, you think about this was the start of your love for comics and what lead you to japan in the first place. Upon this realisation you come to 2 conclusions;

1. this man is your enemy for putting you in a dangerous situation
2. that you are petty for remembering minor faults from someones childhood

this leads to a fateful decision -- running at him head first with your knife aimed at his neck, however, before you reach him...

[Ladder]

...another portal magically opens up above you; but this time, a man dressed in a black tuxedo falls out standing upright! You stop to stare, and he seems to check his watch on the way down before placing his hands into his pockets. Mere yards before hitting the ground, he slows his descent, and you hear his shoes click on the asphalt. You and JGerfil's eyes meet before turning to the stranger, who's busy fixing his tie.

He opens his mouth, looking towards the two of you, and says...

[sunlightenjoyer7]

before you kill him, Ive been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty. You should've received a notice in the mail about your car's extended warranty eligibility. Since ive not gotten a response, ive come here today to give you a final courtesy notice before we close out your file.

Both of you are speechless, you dont even have a car, frustration builds up until you finally...

[spirit!]

before you kill him, Ive been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty. You should've received a notice in the mail about your car's extended warranty eligibility. Since ive not gotten a response, ive come here today to give you a final courtesy notice before we close out your file.

Both of you are speechless, you dont even have a car, frustration builds up until you finally...

whip out your cock a nd start stanking up the place with your big meaty schlong. you hear sirens up ahead. you look behind you and...

[ianogaf]

Egad, another portal has opened! This time, two men, both wearing the same tuxedo and the same pairs of sunglasses, come and grab both you and JGerfil. Before you can say a word and zip your fly, they pull you back into their portals.